Deep breaths into a paperbag.

So welcome to my very first entry. Go easy on me, this whole blog concept is a bit out there for me. I still get excited about using ‘WordArt’ and using a nifty little design program called ‘Paint’.

I decided to begin this blog… well, I don’t really know why. But then, I do a lot of things for no particular reason and with no rationale, like when I decided to bring Scrunchies back into fashion or when I decided to create a new jewellery line-only to discover around 1,390,000 other people had the same genius idea.

This is why I have tried numerous jobs including automotive spare parts girl, waitress, nanny, make-up artist, animal produce sales, marketing, inventory and purchasing. Did I also mention that I am a qualified Subway Sandwich artist?  Footlong or 6"?? What type of provocative question is that for a 18 yo girl to be asking? But I got sick of them all and moved on extremely quickly. (Especially from the babysitting job where the children were meant to be 3 years old but couldn’t speak and still breastfed. It was all a little weird, and even after taking photos of the baby giants and sending them to my mother… She couldn’t really figure it out either. Needless to say I quit before the baby giants could change their eyes and kill me- Children of Damned style.)

I am slightly crazy, always restless and almost always looking for a "grass is greener" opportunity. I just can’t accept that life is meant to be boring, spent in the same dull way, day after day. People all over the world live on beautiful islands, travel the world, eat food and write about it for a living, buy a farm and wake up to milking the cows each day… I know this is extremely idealistic and entirely naive, but I don’t care. If they can have that life, why can’t I?  And I’m not so airy-fairy that I think I’ll land some job as a food writer paid to travel around Italy, dining on fresh tomatoes with dripped with anchovies and olive oil. No, I just believe there is something better than this poisonous, bullshit corporate world I am currently in.

I currently work in a mindlessly BORING job, full of nitwits aka Senior Management. It seems management lose their minds the higher they get up the corporate ladder- must be the lack of oxygen all the way up there….Some people thrive within the corporate world, and I guess I did at one point too. But now I feel like I see it for its true colours. The corporate world either hurtles you to the top causing you to become an arrogant pratt (then just as quickly spits you out, it’s a dog-eat-dog world) OR  dangles a carrot in front of your nose for years with a promise of promotions, more money car… All things that of course, never actually materialise… Until you wake up one day and realise you have been at the same hell hole for the last 40 years, and as compensation for losing your fresh youthful looking face/spirit/soul… You get… da da dum:  a watch!! Yep a fucking watch to count the minutes you spend in the hell hole.  You’ll be a hollow, soulless character with a fricken awesome gold watch.

Ok so I understand that I sound completely pessimistic right now, and it may or may not have to do with the fact that I just died my hair black accidentally. Yes, it was meant to be "Winter Auburn brown " and somehow ended up "Psycho Emo-Bitch Black" so apologies for any emo-ness. I am usually, believe it or not, an extremely optimistic person, always looking on the bright side of things. Which is why when I searched and searched and couldn’t actually find any bright side in my current job, I knew it was time for a change. A big fucking change.

So after around 2 years of non-stop whingeing to friends, parents, and co-workers… I have decided to do something about it and get off my increasingly growing bottom. (Weight gain is just another symptom of office workers not to mention the problems I have from wearing my ridiculously gorgeous and completely non-practical black peeptoe heels everyday).

I am going back to Uni. Yep, 25 and having a fucking quarter life crisis and you know what? I’m loving it sick.  One best friend just got married, the other bought a house with her long-time boyfriend. I am going back to Uni, boyfriendless, houseless yet a heart full of hope and a brain just screaming to learn new and amazing things.  The plan is to do a 3 year course in Arts and then another 18 months to get my Masters of Teaching.This is the plan, and I plan to stick to it. God, even the thought of planning something that in undoubtedly going to take over my life for 4 years at least, scares the living shit out of me. But that’s what I love.

So I have about 6 weeks until mid-year applications start, and then the wheel will have begun turning… Plus my awesome co-worker kindly told me today that it’s only around 68 days until I can put in my resignation… (that is only including work days, and he had taken out Fridays as he says we should claim them as ‘smoking-our-arses-off-and-not-do-a-bit-of-work’ days).

The next few months will include managing to keep on coming into work, which is surprisingly easier since I know there is a beautiful shimmering light at the end of the tunnel called SCHOOL. I know, I know everyone’s meant to hate school, but you get to an age where you haven’t been there for quite sometime, and well, you kinda miss it… Plus I need to work out exactly what course I want to get into, as well as financially prepare myself in the mere 4 months I have left to get my shit together and be ready for 4 long years of possibly eating legumes and living in my parents garage. Scary, but very possible.

Alis Rose x x x