An epilady calamity.

13 May

I’m not much of a girly-girl. But every now and then I like confirm my femininity by paying a small asian lady $5 to file my nails.  I actually find the nail salon quite relaxing, especially since my nail-lady can’t speak English which instantly rules out the bullshit-small-talk people simply endure as a courtesy. I have also noticed that the ever-present waft of acetone and nail filings seems to facilitate some candid and always enlightening conversations.

Girl 1: OMG! I got waxed yesterday and the lady made a little heart shape. Totally cute.

Girl 2 : Gross. I can’t believe you still get waxed, Epilady all the way.

Girl 3: Yep, Epilady is the only way to go. I do everywhere with it. Even near my ass.

Girl 1: You guys are crazy!  I would never put a device that contains rotating metal blades near my, you know what.

Girl 2: Oh darls, it’s absolutely fine!

Girl 3: Except that time, err you know…

Girl 1 :*Raises eyebrows*  Come on, spill ya guts.

Girl 2: Oh it’s not really that bad. I just had a little accident…

Girl 1: Any accident in that region is bad. What exactly was this accident? Was there blood?

Girl 3: Yeh there was a little blood.. I, errm, well, it got ‘attached’.

Girl 2: To her clitoris.

Girl 1 (has gone extremely pale): Are you serious??? How does that even happen? Is it still there?

Girl 3: *chuckles* What darls, is the Epilady still hanging from my clit? Nah, I had to get my sister to come and help pull it off. Yes, that was embarrassing but I was more worried about having to go to the Emergency department with this mechanical device hanging off my snatch.  That would have been embarrassing.

Girl 2: And she bruised it. Haha, she showed me the next day, I felt so sorry for the poor thing.

Girl 3: Me or my clit?

Girl 2: Both darls, it was a tragic day for both of you.

This is a true conversation I overheard whilst sitting in my happy haze of Acetone.Just to clarify- these girls still use the Epilady on their lady parts. Crazy motherfuckers.


6 Responses to “An epilady calamity.”

  1. scarletsculturegarden May 15, 2010 at 10:18 am #

    That’s MAD – why would you have a conversation like that in the open air? That really is crazy!

    • dreamlivedream May 16, 2010 at 11:37 pm #

      yeh, totally crazy. I give them the benefit of the doubt and blame the acetone high.

  2. izziedarling May 15, 2010 at 9:59 pm #

    Sick chicks. Can you find new nail salon?

    • dreamlivedream May 16, 2010 at 11:35 pm #

      Sick? Yes. Entertaining? Definitely. I can’t wait to hear more stories from these girls…

  3. Mindless Rambler May 18, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

    Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!

  4. jkdavies May 19, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    omg! I would even have qualms about my intuition razor down there but a f**king epilady? serious?

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