Dire Straits’ song “Money for Nothing” was #1 for 3 weeks straight in the US. Mark Knopfler wrote the song whilst overhearing a bunch of delivery men in a New York department store complaining about their jobs. Hence, the constant references throughout the song to whitegoods. Bloody good song. Nothing to do with this post whatsoever, but still a great song. And I do want MTV.
Since most of my time will be taken up at Uni in a few months, I must admit, I’ve been trying to think outside-the-square for some quick moula-making ideas.
Selling of Kidneys
I recieved an email yesterday warning about scandalous medical students running all over town stealing people’s kidneys. Perhaps I can strike a deal with them in regards to some consensual organ donating and earn some cash.
Plus avoid waking up in an icebath, confused.
Apparently this is illegal in Australia, however I’m sure there’s plenty of those scandalous med students running around town selling black-market embyros. The average female has around 400,000 eggs before the age of thirty… and these puppies sell for up to $15,000 US each.
I’m sitting on a gold-mine.
Getting paid to take drugs where the side effects are unknown and may or may not include nausea, loss of hearing, numbness, amnesia, homicidal impluses, rapid loss of mental clarity, constipation, liver damage, kidney failure, diarrhea????
Sign me up.
Working from home
Why didn’t anyone tell me about this earlier? I always thought they were scams. But a certain website promises that you will earn a wage of at least 6 figures in your first year, and all you have to do is data-enter. Who am I entering this data for? The mob? And where am I entering it? Well for 6 figures , who cares…
I’ve left the best until last. A PA job that sounded too good for words, but so good I thought it at least warranted an enquiry – just in case…
To whom it may concern,
I am writing in regard to your advertisement for a personal assistant.
Can you please advise what hours/compensation you are proposing?
Hi Naive Idiot,
Thanks or the reply…..this is not a traditional PA position. It is essentially a taking care of my needs when I’m in Melb on business and as you may or may not have guessed, it can involve intimacy 🙂 I know its not for everyone, so apologise in advance for wasting your time. I sort of tried to indicate that in the ad….it is more like a ‘friends-with-benefits’ arrangement than a job per se. If you have the right mindset, it can be quite a respectful and discreet way of having some fun and making life a bit easier for both parties.
Let me how it sits with you and we can take it from there. Send me a newsy email about you if interested….a pic will be appreciated but not essential. I get some really weird replies…..from russia and the US, mostly spam I think, so please be as ‘local’ as possible and let me know how this might suit your situation.
Seedy Sexual Pervert
I only have two comments on this ‘job opportunity’. Firstly, he most definitely did not indicate any of this in the advertisement. It was a straight, forward Experienced PA Required job ad (experienced alright).
And secondly, friends-with-benefits earn a LOT of money these days. So much in fact, that certain people are not led to resort to parting with items such a internal organs, fertile eggs, and their general well-being. Plus he realllly isn’t married, he swore to god. Amen for dirty old perves.
Ha! Gotcha. I’m not a ho.