I’m not much of a girly-girl. But every now and then I like confirm my femininity by paying a small asian lady $5 to file my nails. I actually find the nail salon quite relaxing, especially since my nail-lady can’t speak English which instantly rules out the bullshit-small-talk people simply endure as a courtesy. I have also noticed that the ever-present waft of acetone and nail filings seems to facilitate some candid and always enlightening conversations.
Girl 1: OMG! I got waxed yesterday and the lady made a little heart shape. Totally cute.
Girl 2 : Gross. I can’t believe you still get waxed, Epilady all the way.
Girl 3: Yep, Epilady is the only way to go. I do everywhere with it. Even near my ass.
Girl 1: You guys are crazy! I would never put a device that contains rotating metal blades near my, you know what.
Girl 2: Oh darls, it’s absolutely fine!
Girl 3: Except that time, err you know…
Girl 1 :*Raises eyebrows* Come on, spill ya guts.
Girl 2: Oh it’s not really that bad. I just had a little accident…
Girl 1: Any accident in that region is bad. What exactly was this accident? Was there blood?
Girl 3: Yeh there was a little blood.. I, errm, well, it got ‘attached’.
Girl 2: To her clitoris.
Girl 1 (has gone extremely pale): Are you serious??? How does that even happen? Is it still there?
Girl 3: *chuckles* What darls, is the Epilady still hanging from my clit? Nah, I had to get my sister to come and help pull it off. Yes, that was embarrassing but I was more worried about having to go to the Emergency department with this mechanical device hanging off my snatch. That would have been embarrassing.
Girl 2: And she bruised it. Haha, she showed me the next day, I felt so sorry for the poor thing.
Girl 3: Me or my clit?
Girl 2: Both darls, it was a tragic day for both of you.
This is a true conversation I overheard whilst sitting in my happy haze of Acetone.Just to clarify- these girls still use the Epilady on their lady parts. Crazy motherfuckers.