Kegs, Cakes and Capes

So Dan the Man, Cha-Cha and I held our first keg party on the weekend. Beer, beer and more beer… In fact, I just ate a Cherry Ripe and there’s a fairly high chance I’m intoxicated again. Brilliant. To get your guests excited about your party, you need excellent promotion skills (and of course, strippers, cocaine and dancing bears). However, as I endeavoured to promote our upcoming Keg Off, guaranteed to make you kegless, there was a lot of confusion…

Scenario 1.

Me: So we’re having a Keg Party!!! You should totally come.

Sweet-tooth: Oh brilliant. I love cake!

Me: I know, it’s gonna be pretty epic… Wait. Did you say cake?

Sweet-tooth: Yeh.  I bloody love mudcake. Not enough people have cake parties these days…

Me: Er, it’s a KEG party. K-E-G. As in a large metal thing filled with ice cold beer.

Sweet-tooth: So no mudcake?

Me:  Nup. But mud-wrestling is high on the agenda.

Sweet-tooth: With hot chicks?

Me: Nah probably dancing bears.

Sweet-tooth: Sweeeeeet.

 Scenario 2.

Dad: So your younger, underage brother is coming to your little palooza??

Me: Yeh, don’t worry though. I’ll take good care of him.

Dad: I don’t know why he wants to attend a cake party really, but at least the two of you are spending some time together…

*** Younger brother coughing in background, eye twitching strangely***

Me: Err, yes. The Cake Party will be fantastic.

Dad: Good-o, save me a piece.

Me: Will do.

 Scenario 3.

Me:  So there’s a good chance, 50% of the guests may turn up with cake. They keep thinking I’m saying ‘Cake Party’ for some reason

Captain Confusion: ** Laughs hysterically**  That would be hilarious. Will they have their undies on outside their pants too??

Me:  Hmm. I don’t think so. Excellent question though.

Captain Confusion: Oh ok. Well people wearing capes and drinking beer will still be pretty awesome!

Me:  Give me strength. Are you talking about C-A-P-E-S ? As in Batman? Wonderwoman?  Mighty Mouse? Green Lantern? Superman? Hourman? Dr.Fate?  Captain Marvel?

Captain Confusion:  Oh dear, was that wrong sweetie?

 Scenario 4.

Me:  Hey! You hippies coming to the keg party tomorrow?

Hippy 1: Yeh for sure man…

Hippy 2: Is it a toga party? It should definitely be a toga party.

Me: Nup, it’s just a good ol’ keg party. With, you know, beer and stuff.

Hippy 1: Will there be acid?

Me: It isn’t Woodstock. No togas, no acid. Just beer.

Hippy 2: So can we wear Toga’s?

Me: Knock your socks off, you damn hippies.

 

For your information, the party was grand. Acid-trippers in togas, strippers wearing capes, dancing bears that mud-wrestled, and a vast assortment of sponges, mudcakes and tortes. 

 Oh, and beer. There was beer.