So Dan the Man, Cha-Cha and I held our first keg party on the weekend. Beer, beer and more beer… In fact, I just ate a Cherry Ripe and there’s a fairly high chance I’m intoxicated again. Brilliant. To get your guests excited about your party, you need excellent promotion skills (and of course, strippers, cocaine and dancing bears). However, as I endeavoured to promote our upcoming Keg Off, guaranteed to make you kegless, there was a lot of confusion…
Me: So we’re having a Keg Party!!! You should totally come.
Sweet-tooth: Oh brilliant. I love cake!
Me: I know, it’s gonna be pretty epic… Wait. Did you say cake?
Sweet-tooth: Yeh. I bloody love mudcake. Not enough people have cake parties these days…
Me: Er, it’s a KEG party. K-E-G. As in a large metal thing filled with ice cold beer.
Sweet-tooth: So no mudcake?
Me: Nup. But mud-wrestling is high on the agenda.
Sweet-tooth: With hot chicks?
Me: Nah probably dancing bears.
Dad: So your younger, underage brother is coming to your little palooza??
Me: Yeh, don’t worry though. I’ll take good care of him.
Dad: I don’t know why he wants to attend a cake party really, but at least the two of you are spending some time together…
*** Younger brother coughing in background, eye twitching strangely***
Me: Err, yes. The Cake Party will be fantastic.
Dad: Good-o, save me a piece.
Me: Will do.
Me: So there’s a good chance, 50% of the guests may turn up with cake. They keep thinking I’m saying ‘Cake Party’ for some reason
Captain Confusion: ** Laughs hysterically** That would be hilarious. Will they have their undies on outside their pants too??
Me: Hmm. I don’t think so. Excellent question though.
Captain Confusion: Oh ok. Well people wearing capes and drinking beer will still be pretty awesome!
Me: Give me strength. Are you talking about C-A-P-E-S ? As in Batman? Wonderwoman? Mighty Mouse? Green Lantern? Superman? Hourman? Dr.Fate? Captain Marvel?
Captain Confusion: Oh dear, was that wrong sweetie?
Me: Hey! You hippies coming to the keg party tomorrow?
Hippy 1: Yeh for sure man…
Hippy 2: Is it a toga party? It should definitely be a toga party.
Me: Nup, it’s just a good ol’ keg party. With, you know, beer and stuff.
Hippy 1: Will there be acid?
Me: It isn’t Woodstock. No togas, no acid. Just beer.
Hippy 2: So can we wear Toga’s?
Me: Knock your socks off, you damn hippies.
For your information, the party was grand. Acid-trippers in togas, strippers wearing capes, dancing bears that mud-wrestled, and a vast assortment of sponges, mudcakes and tortes.
Oh, and beer. There was beer.